Lashon HaRa

The Sages taught us one very important thing: Lashon HaRa (Evil Speech). A lot of people do not know exactly the definition of evil speech but a handful can define misconduct. I, myself, experience this before; supposedly that Mrs. A did something bad and I know it, then I go around telling others that Mrs. A is a bad person because she do so-and-so. Am I wrong? Last time I used to think, I am only doing a good thing, telling others what kind of person she is and I am doing a good thing telling others about it.

The preconception I had last time is wrong, as wrong as stealing and shaking the foundation of society. Lashon HaRa has a lot of categories and one of them is Tale-bearing. Tale-bearing is a very grave sin because of one thing: it disturbed peace and make other looks worse than they really are. Even though the ‘tale’ is true, we are still not allowed to tell it unless someone did something really terrible like killing and stealing. If the fall into such categories, it is a Mitzvah to tell them out (bearing witness). However, if the matter is trivial such as you overheard someone speaking ill of others, do not go around telling others about it; rather it is best if you tell it straight to the person who speaks ill of others.

Things that are not secret, positive, not altered, and true cannot be told spontaneously without the person involved present. This is illustrated in the story of Do’eig, who saw Achimelekh HaKohen giving a sword and a bread to David. Do’eig later tell Saul about it and he changed nothing. What he told is true. Not a secret and even if asked, Achimelekh will tell the same thing. However, things are different when others tell the tale. After the act of Do’eig, Saul proceeded to kill all but one Kohenim.

The Talmud relates that the tongue is so dangerous that it needed two walls to protect it from doing harm (the lips and the teeth). So, what does HaShem trying to teach us with out anatomy? One very simple thing: before you say anything, think twice (or a multitude of time). Do not say something out of rash and do not say anything just because you wanted to say so and that you are angry. Always put yourself in others’ shoes, try to see things from others’ perspective and in this time, what do you want others to say to you. Will your utterances make a person feel worse? Will your words hurt that particular person until the point that he feels that he is completely useless?

Rendering a person useless with words is as though as you have killed the person. This is why some sources listed three sins that you cannot commit even to save life (murder, idol worship, and forbidden sexual relationship) are equivalent to Lashon Hara. When you killed someone’s self esteem, you are as though killed that person because that affected individual might not want to continue on his anguished life. This is why this is said concerning the Sages:

Avtalyon said: "Sages, be careful with your words, for you may incur the penalty of exile and be banished to a place of evil waters [heresy], and the disciples who follow you there will drink and die [spiritually], and consequently the Name of Heaven will be desecrated." Pirkei Avot

I truly have to learn from this verse because I tend to be too soft with my words until others can misinterpret my words. Through the Net, everything is possible and misunderstanding can flourish as flour spread to the winds.

The conclusion is? Do not talk about others when you are talking. Praise not and gossip not if the person you are talking about is not there. However, if the person’s enemy or enemies are present, do not try to belittle the person because this might give the enemy more to talk about.